“Fuck, fuck, they’ve got me locked down!”

That’s a direct quote from the Battlefield 3 Alpha. And it worries me. A lot, but at the same time not at all.

Cheese is becoming a more frequent ingredient in video games than any other dairy product or any other food product for that matter. Cheese is great, and we all love cheese on our sandwiches, hamburgers, pizzas, and the list goes on. But in video games, cheese doesn’t blend in as good as it does on food. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. And apparently DICE are not aware of this.

That line came from alpha footage of Battlefield 3 from a player that was being attacked. It sounded extremely cheesy and it got me laughing a bit. Does anyone really thing that kind of behavior is cool anymore? I know what DICE were going for. Desperation, panic, and realism. I get it. The soldier is on brink of death, why worry about manners etc? I get it. No worries. But it doesn’t make it less cheesy or laughable for that.

After that footage I am certain that the singleplayer campaign will be full of cheese. Loaded with it. It will be dripping from the edges. But that doesn’t bother me, not at all. Why? Because Battlefield 3 is a multiplayer game. A game you play online with friends and just kill other players and have fun doing it. It doesn’t matter that it will be full of cheese in the singleplayer with the occasional stupid comment online. It will all vanish when you submerge into that beautiful dessert or war terrain and start blowing things in the air with friends. It will make all cheese go away and it will make things much, much better.